There was a tweet in the aftermath of LPGA Q-Series that put a spotlight on the razor-thin lines of this beautifully maddening game. The tweet came from 40-year-old Kristy McPherson, who missed out on a full card by one lousy stroke at the 144-hole marathon.
McPherson wrote: “I’m sad. Disappointed. A little mad. Gutted Heartbroken, but not broken. Hopeful. Congratulations to the girls that made it at Q-Series! Praying for the girls below that line beause I know the disappointment and heartbreak they feel. After 8 rounds I hit it 571 times. That was one too many.”
McPherson is as salt-of-the-earth as they come. A popular player among her peers because she’s the kind of person who lifts the mood of a place.
Now, she’s at a crossroads.
“The absolute worst-case scenario is missing by a shot,” she said nearly one month later. “You’d rather miss by 10 or 20 or just never show up.”
McPherson can picture every shot she hit over those eight rounds and said, “there’s a million of them that you want back.” One bounce, one lip-in instead of out, and it’s a completely different conversation.
A little over a decade ago, the fast-talking South Carolina grad was sailing on the LPGA. A member of the victorious 2009 Solheim Cup team and runner-up to good friend Brittany Lincicome at what’s now known as the Chevron Championship, McPherson finished 16th and 27th on the money list in 2009 and 2010.
As a kid she’d been diagnosed with Still’s Disease, a form of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and spent the better part of the sixth grade in bed. With her beloved team sports out of the equation, McPherson dedicated herself to golf. She won seven times as a Gamecock and twice on the Symetra Tour before graduating to the LPGA in 2007.
McPherson played with pain for most her life. In fact, at 40, she’s feeling a great deal better than she has in a long time after undergoing surgery on her right hip two years ago. The fact that she’s now playing pain-free makes the decision to potentially walk away from playing full time all the more agonizing.
“I’ve had arthritis my whole life,” she said. “There are days that I’ve felt 60. But I feel better now than I did 10 years ago.”
Maybe she should’ve had hip surgery ages ago, she wonders. Then again, she’s not the type to live with regrets.
How tough is McPherson? Consider that at the 2008 Longs Drugs Challenge she had a flare-up that caused her face to swell up so bad her right eye was shut. On the way to the first tee, McPherson told her caddie if she whiffed, they were done.
Instead, she shot 71 playing one-eyed and ultimately finished tied for fifth.
Close friend Angela Stanford said that when they used to travel together, she’d sometimes have to open up water bottles for McPherson because the arthritis was so bad in her hands.
Her father David calls her “tough as a pine knot.”
Which again, makes the question of what comes next so difficult to answer.
“I go back and forth,” said McPherson. “Am I good enough to still play? Sometimes. But sometimes no.”
McPherson has decided that she won’t go back to the Symetra Tour, where it’s easy to hemorrhage money. Last year she finished 15th at the LPGA event at Kingsmill right before the reshuffle and managed to get into 10 more events. Looking back, was that reshuffle a blessing or a curse, she wonders. Because now here she is one year later having a similar conversation with herself.
“Change is scary for everybody,” said Stanford, “but especially when you’ve only had one thing in your life, and then it gets real scary.”
McPherson has a phone call set up with her friend Courtney Trimble, co-founder of Women For Hire, which launched in November and aims to help connect females with jobs in the golf industry.
As it is, McPherson would likely get into five or six LPGA events and would have to play well enough to move up in the reshuffle.
So many players have this same conversation with themselves every year. Most walk away quietly, still keeping in touch with the game through pro-ams and qualifiers.
There are some people in this world, said Stanford, who have the ability to dig deeper than most. And McPherson is one of them.
“It could be that they’ve always had it tough,” said Stanford. “It’s always been an uphill battle.”
Which is why, if there’s enough want-to, Stanford would always tell her friend to keep at it. The talent is still there.
“I don’t have the answers,” said an emotional McPherson.
But they will come.
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