The Bulls appear to possibly be on the hunt for a new general manager after reports broke on Wednesday that the team had talked to Bryan “Process” Colangelo, he of the supposed wife’s burner accounts.
The team currently has John Paxson and Gar Forman sharing GM duties, but neither have inspired much confidence.
Enter Brooklyn Nets guard Spencer Dinwiddie, who announced that he was going to “play a game” where he would imagine himself as the first ever player/GM* of the Bulls, and then gave his audition tape: A glorious Twitter thread where he outlined his plan to fix the entire franchise.
(I’d argue LeBron James has been acting as a player/GM for years, but that’s another blog.)
Anyway, on to Dinwiddie’s plan to fix the Bulls:
1. Trade for himself
First up as Bulls GM, Dinwiddie would trade Tomas Satoransky to the Nets for … Spencer Dinwiddie. Apparently, he’d be willing to give up a draft pick in this transaction.
First order of business we’d have to trade Satoransky for Dinwiddie and also appoint him GM. But we gonna need a pick too because Dinwiddie gets buckets.
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
2. Agree to sign with Klutch Sports in order to get Anthony Davis
Here’s where Dinwiddie gets a little loosey goosey with tampering rules, but whatever. I know of nothing in the NBA rule book that explicitly forbids a player/GM from issuing a quid pro quo to an agent in which he agrees to sign with an agency in exchange for delivery of a prized player in a massive trade.
Second order of business Call rich Paul. Agree to sign with Klutch for my max deal if he delivers AD.
S/T: Thad, Felicio, Wendell and a 1st? 🤔
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
Why the Nets would agree to this trade? Unclear. But don’t worry about that. Just keep moving.
3. Keep Zach LaVine, Coby White, and Lauri Markannen
He’d also keep the bench guys that are currently on the roster, plus sign a vet or two (“Jared Dudley types”) to round out the back of the bench.
Ps. For the bench 6, I’d just keep all the fan favorites. Blakeny, Shaq, Hutchinson, Gafford. 2 vets. Jared Dudley types for lockeroom chemistry.
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
4. Sign Moe Harkless or Robert Covington to round out starting 5
He’d trade Arcidiacano and Kormet to make the deal happen, then add one more veteran 3-and-D guy.
Another vet 3/D like Terrence Ross or Marcus morris (added toughness). See how much cap space I have for mook. Maybe a discount because of title chances
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
5. Draft a midsize wing, and then trade Otto Porter for Andre Drummond
Kinda buried the lede with the Andre Drummond trade, but he’s got some added big-man depth with this trade.
Since I have a lotto pick top 8 or so, I’m consulting @RP3natural on the best mid sized 3/D wing type that can also guard PGs. And lastly I need the big. Maybe a Otto for Drummond trade off the both opt in to their player options 🤔 with obvious sweeteners
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
6. Actually let Kevin Durant run the whole thing
Look at this Usual Suspects style reveal:
MOST IMPORTANT THING: We are opening up transparent communication with AD, he gonna be running things on the low 🤣
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
4 Main reserves: harkless, coby, lotto pick, Lauri.
1 vet. 3 Super talented youth.If AD needs more vets we adjust and go all in. We also collaborating on the coach decision.
— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) April 8, 2020
Here’s the beauty of Spencer Dinwiddie’s plan to be the Bulls GM. He won’t actually be the Bulls GM. Kevin Durant will be the Bulls GM.
This is his grand flourish, the real way this will all go down, and it’s genius.
Do it, Bulls. Pull the trigger. Don’t worry that none of the math makes sense and all of these trades are preposterous. Give your team to Spencer Dinwiddie, and let him cook.
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