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Jerry Jones and Jason Garrett spent a week unable to quit each other, two football friends who knew what was best for their relationship but were unable to say the words they each needed to hear.
It was some fun, relatable drama for anyone who has gone through a difficult, drawn-out breakup. So many us saw ourselves in their situation and knew just how things would end up.
Finally on Sunday – during the Eagles’ playoff game, no less – Jones made the news official that he would be carrying Garrett out of the head coach’s office and dropping him just outside the walls of team’s facilities. Or something along those lines. The relationship was over and Garrett was done.
We all awoke Monday looking forward to Jones sticking with the drama and playing out an extensive search for a new coach that would be played up for days… but possibly weeks considering how that breakup went.
But then on Monday afternoon the Cowboys announced that they hired… Mike McCarthy as their new head coach?
How unlike Jerry Jones.
How boring.
How rude.
Seriously, I was selfishly ready for weeks of more Dallas Cowboys offseason pageviews as Jones floated rumors with names like Urban Meyer or Nick Saban (just let me dream, folks) or even Bill Belichick (let me dream even more because OMG the pageviews that would have got).
Dallas drama is fun for all of us. This could have been legendary time to be alive and enjoy juicy NFL news.
But now all of those hopes and dreams are dead because of a coach that seems pretty darn similar to Garrett and might not be the gigantic upgrade that Cowboys fans are hungry for.
So, I guess there’s some fun in that?
McCarthy won a Super Bowl during his lengthy stint with the Green Bay Packers. He also owned a winning record against the Cowboys. But, of course, having Aaron Rodgers sure helped things for the relatively bland head coach.
Jones now has his new guy but there is no real controversy to his hiring, there’s no real sexiness to this hiring, and there’s no real excitement, either. Maybe all of that will play out next season when the Cowboys must make the playoffs or this past season will look like a great year.
I really wanted Jones to go full crazy and name himself the next coach of the Cowboys. That’s a world I’d love to live in. I think deep down that he would, too.
But, nope. Mike McCarthy it is.
What a bummer.
Thanks for nothing, Jerry.
Monday’s biggest winner: ‘Bachelor’ fans.
‘The Bachelor’ returned Monday night and now we all get to follow some fella named Peter Weber as he tries to find the woman he’ll attempt to spend the rest of his life with. Here’s a breakdown of every cast member in the 24th season of a show that knows how to crush souls on national TV. Also, here are eight things we want to see happen this season.
Quick hits: Tua’s winners and losers… Wentz apologizes… Brady’s next team… And more!
– Tua Tagovailoa announced Monday he will be leaving Alabama and entering the NFL draft. Here are the winners and losers of that decision.
– Carson Wentz apologized to all of his teammates after Sunday’s loss, which he didn’t need to do.
– There’s one team that Tom Brady should play for next season… and it’s not the Patriots.
– Joel Embiid suffered a nasty looking finger injury Monday night.
– Are the NFL’s playoff OT rules still broken? Saints fans might think so.
– The winner of the ‘Jeopardy’ GOAT tournament may have already leaked, according to a sportsbook.
(Follow me on Twitter at @anezbitt. It might change your life. Just don’t tell me about your fantasy team.)