We all love Pokémon. We all love Pikachu. They are, for the most part, an incredibly adorable bunch that we would love to hug – hugging being the most important metric of a Pokémon’s worth. But the fact is, there are some Pokémon games that we would not only not hug, but we would not even dare to have it in our game collection.
There are dozens of Pokémon spin-offs in existence, and in this list we have collected ten of the very worst. These games aren’t the worst games of all time or anything, but even if you’re a Pokémon fan you probably should not bother playing any of them.
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Hey You, Pikachu!
Hey You, Pikachu! is a good idea. Well, mostly. It’s a game where you interact with Pikachu entirely using your voice. Pikachu can recognize basic commands and “play” with you. The problems arise quickly though.
Voice recognition technology just wasn’t up to scratch in the late 90s, and even now it’s a bit awkward. As a result, Hey You, Pikachu! was a difficult game to play at the best of times. Even though it was a promising idea, the fact remains that even if you could control it perfectly, it still wouldn’t be all that fun.
Pokémon Channel
Pokémon Channel is cute, but it’s barely a game. This sweet Gamecube disc allows players to view Pokémon animated shorts, play some very simplistic minigames, and… watch TV with Pikachu.
To be frank, it’s a bit of a mess, and just might be one of the worst pieces of Pokémon media that can run on a Nintendo console. But you can get Jirachi by playing and connecting your Game Boy Advance, so it’s not all bad.
Pokémon Ranger
Pokémon Ranger is a DS game where you run circles around Pokémon with the stylus in order to catch them. It’s actually not the worst thing ever, as the storyline will keep you spinning that stylus all day long.
But that’s pretty much it. You play the entire game by spinning your stylus around foes. It’s not bad, but it’s nothing to write home about. Still managed two sequels, though.
Pokémon Rumble
Pokémon Rumble is an entire sub-series with multiple entries that sees you collecting and battling a wide range of adorable, simplified Pokémon models. It’s made to be simple and approachable, but that’s exactly where it falls down.
When it comes down to it, Pokémon Rumble – the entire series – is repetitive and tedious. The simplistic battle system never adds much in the way of depth, meaning you’ll end up playing the entire game by pressing the same buttons on loop. Not worth it.
Pokémon Dash
This game could very well give you RSI. Pokémon Dash is a top-down “racing” game where you overlook Pokémon and swipe on the DS touch screen in order to to make them run. You pick your favorite racer and swipe like you’re trying to detach or severely damage your wrist along a fairly confusing course, in all honesty.
Genuine pain. Genuine, real-world pain is possible with this game. Not recommended in any circumstance.
Pokédex 3D
This is a Pokédex. Because it was available on the 3DS, you could view the Pokémon models in 3D. There were also descriptions of each Pokémon. You know, the information you can more easily find on the internet in the modern-day. It was followed up by Pokédex 3D Pro, which was basically the same but with more creatures.
We don’t need another Pokédex app, thanks.
Pokémon Unite
Pokémon Unite is a MOBA.
Pokémon Masters EX
Pokémon Masters EX has a nice core idea. You get introduced into a world filled with the legends of the Pokémon world, including the gym leaders, Elite Four members, and notable trainers. You interact with each and every one of them, with many of them joining your team. While the story lasts, it’s fun.
Well, that is until an endgame grind slows everything to a halt. Suddenly you’re pushed towards microtransactions in order to progress unless you want to spend each and every day training the Pokémon you have.
Pokémon: Magikarp Jump
Pokémon: Magikarp Jump is the Pokémon equivalent of Cookie Clicker or Neko Atsume. That’s not supposed to sound like an insult, but it is true that Magikarp Jump is very simplistic, being a free mobile app.
Here you can train and raise Magikarp, make them jump high, have them face off against other Magikarp in some slow-paced battles. Not a terrible experience, but not one anyone in the world was asking for.
Pokémon Quest
A pseudo-sequel to the Pokémon Rumble series, Pokémon Quest has you placing your cute voxel Pokémon on a stage with a gear set up of your choosing. Then you simply watch things unfold. You can of course evolve and raise your Pokémon as you go.
This is a very passive gaming experience, but essentially offers a bit of very light strategy. It’s fun for a while, but you’ll be done with long before it finishes.
Written by Dave Aubrey on behalf of GLHF.
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