Hasbro released their new NERF mascot named ‘Murph’ and everyone was disturbed by its look

Who…who asked for this?

If you grew up in contemporary America, there is positively very little way you never played with Hasbro’s NERF foam toys.

I know, I know. Just mentioning this probably brings up some traumatic memories. Your dog probably chewed up your beloved NERF football from when you were eight, and you still refuse to throw it away. I get it, and I’m genuinely sorry.

Bad news: What I’m about to describe isn’t going to make you feel any better. On Friday, Hasbro revealed their new NERF mascot, “Murph,” a.k.a. their agent of chaos. This toy mascot monstrosity certainly lives up to the billing of a worthy messenger of the apocalypse:

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that supposed to make children excited to shoot foam  and/or toss it around to each other? Because if I was 10-years-old now and saw that, I’d never leave the house. No. Thank. You.

Per AdWeek‘s Paul Hiebert:

Murph, [is] an anthropomorphic character made entirely out of Nerf darts.

“We wanted to introduce a mascot that represents this ageless, unbridled fun that lives in all of us and creates a physical embodiment of that feeling you get when you play with Nerf,” said Adam Kleinman, svp and gm of Nerf at parent company Hasbro.

Kleinman noted the marketing push around Murph, who he described as a playful spirit and gifted athlete, is based on internal research showing parents desire to create moments of active play they experienced as kids with their own children.

We’ll let the Internet take it from here.