Ranking the XFL coaching staffs based on how much I’d like to play for them

Would you rather play for Wade Phillips or Rod Woodson?

The XFL is coming back in 2023. It doesn’t have teams yet. It doesn’t even have team *names* yet — though we’re all rooting for a Memphis Maniax revival. But it does have coaches.

Well, most of the teams have coaches.

The league announced its head coaches back in April, dropping a list of names like Wade Phillips, Bob Stoops, and Hines Ward onto a football-starved nation. Those leaders had their coaching trees expanded Wednesday when coordinators and personnel directors were unveiled. There’s a fair amount of recognizable talent coming to Dwayne Johnson’s pet project, ranging from longtime college staples (June Jones) to NFL veterans trying to accelerate their move up the coaching ranks (Bruce Gradkowski).

So who did the best? Well, without any rosters it’s pretty difficult to say. What we can figure out is which teams might be the most appealing to the players who’ll be drafted this October. Who would I most like to play for? Using my scientific method of “these guys seem cool,” here are my very official, very well-researched rankings.